Why Can't You Hear Me?

Are people listening to you? Do you often say "But I already told you that!" So what is it about your presentation that your words are not registering?

It may not be what you say. Your body language could be a distraction, especially if it's not harmonious with what you're saying… Like a Charlie Brown scene when the adult says "wan wan wan." So if you want people to hear you, you need to monitor the emotional noise you’re projecting.

Vibrations from one person enter another person through the skin, and are immediately assessed through the emotions. This “pure” sensation, often considered intuition, penetrates the nervous system directly.

Efforts to cover up anxiety generate even stronger vibrations. So when you fabricate the truth or are being insincere, you may emit vibrations that contradict what you’re saying. When your emotional vibrations conflict with your spoken words, listeners are drawn to the emotional energy, not the words. 

As emotional and spiritual beings, our impression of someone is based on how in sync they are with their own vibrations. For instance, a person sporting a constant smile is hard to listen to because no emotionally stable person holds a smile indefinitely. Equally as distracting is someone that laughs at the end of every sentence. 

As obvious as this behavior is to the listener, the speaker is rarely aware of these emotional signatures. That’s because most of our emotional behavior is rooted in childhood. When behavior has been part of our life for a long time, we don’t even notice it. But our communication is projected on several levels. In addition to emotional and verbal vibrations, we also emit physical, psychological, and spiritual vibrations. 

A good way to hone your speech is to note what other people say that bothers you. If it irritates you to hear “ya know” or “the fact of the matter is” it’s probably because you tend to repeat those phrases. Another way to monitor your delivery is to record a conversation with a friend. If you think knowing you’re being recorded makes a difference, you may be surprised.

Becoming aware of repetitive or emotionally-laden speech is the first step in eliminating it from your conversations. Scrubbing a few quirks from your emotional and verbal lexicon will help you be heard and give you an edge on effective communications.

But the more aware you become of what you say and how you say it, the more attuned you will be to your emotional underpinnings. So this exercise may lead you on a personal journey of self-cultivation. 

By freeing yourself from old baggage (which is very heavy I might add), you can create a strong, viable vessel. This Taoist teaching infers that through internal emptiness, our body becomes a vessel. If our vessel is full of emotion and attitude there's no room for anything new. When you empty the "old" and fill with the "new" you will be energetically connected to the world. You will be content with yourself and your present situation.